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I hate MTV

It's what-TV?

M? Em for Music? Ah right, gotcha.

No, no, it's ok. I just thought for a second there it might stand for something else. Marketing perhaps. Mistitled? Monotonous? Any 'M' is less ironic than Music. By being the first channel dedicated to music videos, it seems they've evolved past this primitive state of actually showing any.

I was watching MTV out of the side of my eye today, whilst reading. I've always known there have been half hour documentaries with ad-breaks every 10 minutes, but when do the documentaries end and the so-called music begin?

Today I switched on during 'Cribs'. You know, the programme where MTV is invited by a star to be given a tour of the star's house. It's usually the same scenario. For instance, today, Lil' Bow Wow takes us to his home. You see the medium sized mansion that they always have and go inside. It always looks like the house has been hired for the day and they don't know where anything is. "Yeah, yeah, we gots da fridge here, and looky inside! I gots me some cookie dough and mm-mm, I *always* drink plenny-a milk, that's right." This along with the conveniently placed grandmother in day-glow orange fitness suit just 'hangin out' alone on the back porch, 'ma mutha' perched woodenly on a bean-bag watchin t.v. in a spotless cream and pink bedroom and some flash cars out in the front drive with his best bud playing with the electric roof, like he's never seen it before. It's not that I don't believe they own all this stuff - I'd be more interested if they stopped the staging and showed us them really living in the house, like the Osbournes.

Now where was I? Ah yes, bitchin' about the host channel *TV. The '*' can be replaced by any noun you see fit.
Trippin', Punk'd, Cribs, Newlyweds, Jackass, Pimp My Ride... I skipped forward on the satellite listings pages. After a while, I only saw the word 'Punk'd' followed by 20.00, 20.30, 21.00, 21.30, and on and on into the next day.
At least when I was a teenager, they gave up after 1am and started 'night videos'. I know! Can you imagine it? If they did that to today - there would be an outcry! OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a tad. But I'm allowed to be. Some 'honost' 15 y/o on quizilla discovered I have a red aura - so there.

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I saw your face in a crowded place

HAHAHA. Idea for a "Cribs" drinking game: take a shot everytime a celebrity presents the reporter their bedroom with the words "This is where the magic happens". Some cynical MTV producer once did a montage of all the celebrities doing this and saying that phrase. I say cynical because cynicism really is the word of the day with MTV. How many more black & white closeups of Britney Spears's acne does the world really need? And as for Lil' Bow Wow - WHY isn't this child in school?
Living where I live I have the pleasure of enjoying French MTV. They can't afford to make their own shows in french, so they sometimes subtitle one of the popular shows (when they can 'like' be bothered) and so they consequently play a lot more music, albeit a lot of the same popular clips, (MTV is currently 'The James Blunt appreciation channel' over here). Give me God TV anytime. Always delivers the laughs.

But anyway if you're a teenager who mainly watches MTV, chances are, you're a bit behind the times. It's all about Fashion TV now.

MTV Dance still rules though.

Relax! and put your 'mine' to this....

red aura
Your aura shines Red!

What Color Is Your Aura?
brought to you by Quizilla

posing laying

September 2008

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